building a better temple

Today I want to talk about our temples. Yes, this is another post about health and self love but I promise it's different. Last Friday I discussed how I feel about striving for skinny versus striving for health. In a nutshell, skinny and other size related terms are not valid as compliments or insults.

I did a little reading in Titus 2 over the weekend about the qualities and characteristics of Godly leadership, both men and women in leadership, and what really stood out to me is that a leader must exhibit self-control to be an example for future generations. I also read this verse:

1 Corinthians 6:19-20: Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the holy spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Self control. I am not my own. Skinny is a swear word. How does it all tie together?

Here's how:

In order to be a Godly woman in leadership and life, I must have the self control to build the best temple I can and maintain a healthy body and a healthy mindset that focuses on Christ and not on a scale.

So today I started a new journey. A journey to a better temple. A temple that doesn't rest on a scale, see the size on a clothing label, or strive for a worldly standard of beauty. Today I started a journey towards a temple that honors the price I was bought with and stands firm on the word of God.

Disregard the time...I screenshotted at lunch but I did the workout early this morning.

I'm beginning to run, and I started this morning. I don't have a 5k date picked out yet, but there are a few races I'm interested in. But for now, I'm working my way towards increased endurance and distance, and someday soon I will be able to run one.

Last night I bought myself some new workout gear. I haven't gotten workout clothes in at least two years. I know that I am much more comfortable doing something new if I feel confident, so I decided to find some things that made me feel good about my body.

Neon, everywhere. So confused by this trend. But I like it too.

A few friends have agreed to text me a few times a week to make sure I'm doing what I've committed to. I would like to ask all of you, dear friends, to help me be accountable as well. Check in with me via email or comments and remind me of why I'm doing this. Leave me some notes of encouragement and some verses to remind me that I was bought with a price and that the hard work now is nothing compared to the price He paid for me.

This community here in Blogland is so wonderful. I love that I can write a post and ask for help and know that some sweet friends will take it seriously and keep me motivated.

What about you, dear ones? How can I encourage you?

skinny is a swear word

Want to know a secret? A little trick, one that helped me break {mostly} free of skinny thinking?
I live in a world without scales.

There is no scale under my bathroom sink. I don't go to a personal trainer at the gym because weigh ins suck. I turn around backwards at the doctor's office and ask them not to tell me my weight unless they think I'm unhealthy.

I have no idea what I weigh.

Some would argue having an awareness of your size is important to know how healthy you are. I say, I have awareness! If I go to the store and need a size 4 in that cute skirt over there, I need to go eat a freakin' cheeseburger and extra fries because size 4 is too small for my body. If I have to go put on a size 10, it's time to stop getting take-out so much and go back to yoga.

But I don't know how much I weigh. Because for me, knowing is unhealthy. Knowing gets me thinking. What if I could drop just ten pounds? Yes, ten sounds easy. Oh, I dropped that ten, let's just go for five more. Well hey, that came off quick, how about another five just for good measure?

I do not want to live in a prison made of scales. So I live in a wilderness where scales are unheard of. Because skinny doesn't matter. Skinny isn't healthy. Skinny SUCKS. If you see me on the street, please do not tell me I look skinny. Do not tell me I'm so thin. Do not tell me you wish you were my size.

And I will never tell you that you look skinny, even if you are. Because I don't give a damn about skinny. Skinny is the F-word of my life. As is fat. Size is not a valid compliment or insult.

Tell me you LOVE that color on me. Tell me my dress is really flattering. Tell me I have such great blue eyes. Tell me you love my smile. Tell me my laugh is contagious. Tell me you love how genuine I am.

Tell me ANYTHING besides "you look skinny." Tell me I look healthy--healthy is good, healthy IS a compliment. Healthy ROCKS. But skinny isn't healthy.

Want to know a secret? Something that will help you live in a freer, happier world?

You were made ON purpose, FOR a purpose. And that purpose won't be found in a dress size or a number on a scale. It's found in your passions, your friendships, your marriage, your family. It's found in your community, in the things you sacrifice yourself for.

It's found in Christ. He made you. He loves you. And you know what? He doesn't give a damn about skinny either. He wants your heart and soul. That's it.

Over the next seven days, I challenge you not to use a single adjective about size or weight when describing yourself or others. I challenge you to avoid the scale entirely. I challenge you to think beyond the numbers and see the true person in the mirror.

What is your secret to healthy, happy living? How can I encourage you to think happy, not skinny?

This post was inspired by two recent conversations, one with my mentor and one with a new friend. Thanks to both.

no such thing as a "bridal body"

One of my favorite parts of getting engaged was getting to go through bridal magazines. I loved seeing all of the different trends, the styles of dresses available to me, and the many many ways a wedding can be unique.

This was a going away/happy engagement gift from my former boss and coworkers. I love them and loved my time there.

But.

In every. single. issue. there was at least one article about "Getting that bridal body!" or "Bridal Bootcamp" or "Firm Up those Arms in Just Six Weeks!" Then there were the diets. "Why you MUST do a juice fast!" "Magic Belly-Shrinking Drink!" "Lose Ten Pounds Fast!"

I bought a wedding dress that fit my body the way it was when I got engaged. And I have kept my body the way it was when I got engaged. My fiance didn't propose to me on the terms and conditions that I be one of the girls in the bridal magazine by our wedding date. He didn't ask me to marry him if and only if I could fit into a sample size dress by the time we were going to take pictures. He didn't even ask me to marry him if and only if I promised not to gain an ounce between our engagement and our wedding. He asked me to marry him. Me. Not my body.

See that double chin? It's because I'm too happy to care how I look.

See the difference there? I am the bride. My body is not. I am in a dress. My body just holds the dress up. I say my vows. My body just enables me to give them sound. I marry Drew. My body just carries me down the aisle.

It took me years to realize that there is no such thing as a great body. If there is a great body then there must also be a bad body, and who am I to decide what a bad body is?

My body can dance with abandon. I promise I actually have serious rythm, even though this picture doesn't show it.

I'm a Christian. Therefore I believe that I was divinely designed. I also believe that every single person on this planet was divinely designed. And guess what? None of us are the same. Even identical twins have slight differences that make them unique. Because God didn't create humanity to all be alike. The bible does not say "God saw that Eve was five seven and 110 pounds and it was good." No two Biblical heroines were the same. God did not make good bodies and bad bodies. God made beautiful bodies in His image. Our sinful nature made good and bad bodies. Even if you aren't a Christian, this message is for you: No matter your faith, your body is not bad. It is beautiful. It is good. It allows you to love, laugh, explore, experience joy, grief, hurt, and comfort.

Thank you, body, for letting me experience this moment of joy.

There are healthy and unhealthy bodies. On both ends of the spectrum. I have been very thin and unhealthy. I've also been a little bigger than my normal and been unhealthy. But my body's healthy size and weight isn't what the brides in the magazine say. My body's healthy size is a gorgeous, curvy, 5'4" 140 lbs. I wear a size 8 most days, some days a 6, some days a 10. But I am not a size 6, 8, or 10. I am Kaitlin. I wear a size 6, 8, or 10. I am not 140 pounds. I just weigh 140 pounds. I am not 5'4". I just exist 5'4" above the ground.

There is no such thing as a bridal body. There is only a bride who has a body, no matter its size or shape.

I could tell you that I remember this lesson every day, but I would be lying to you. Some days I could probably write a post this long on how annoying it is to be pear shaped and how I wish I had a "thigh gap" or could get rid of the little bit of extra bulk around my hips and move it to my less than busty upper body. Some days I have to work really hard to remember that I am not defined by the body I live in.

Gym date! We try to be healthy together.

With my wedding just over three weeks away, I've missed the window on a bridal body. But you know what? I don't care. I already have a bridal body. Because I am the bride and I live in a body. I am a soul who was assigned a beautiful life with heartache and joy and grace by a loving and perfect God. He gave me a body He designed and equipped for me to live the life He intended for my soul. Even if you don't share my beliefs: You are still a soul living a life with heartache and beauty and endless possibilities. You have a body that will allow you to do all the things your soul desires.

I am a soul living in a body. I'll take good care of it, but I won't "beat it into bridal shape" or force it to "get skinny quick" like all of my magazines tell me I should. My magazines are wrong. I'm in bridal shape. It's just not the shape that's on the cover. And that is okay.