Wednesday, December 11, 2013

no such thing as a "bridal body"

One of my favorite parts of getting engaged was getting to go through bridal magazines. I loved seeing all of the different trends, the styles of dresses available to me, and the many many ways a wedding can be unique.

This was a going away/happy engagement gift from my former boss and coworkers. I love them and loved my time there.

In every. single. issue. there was at least one article about "Getting that bridal body!" or "Bridal Bootcamp" or "Firm Up those Arms in Just Six Weeks!" Then there were the diets. "Why you MUST do a juice fast!" "Magic Belly-Shrinking Drink!" "Lose Ten Pounds Fast!"

I bought a wedding dress that fit my body the way it was when I got engaged. And I have kept my body the way it was when I got engaged. My fiance didn't propose to me on the terms and conditions that I be one of the girls in the bridal magazine by our wedding date. He didn't ask me to marry him if and only if I could fit into a sample size dress by the time we were going to take pictures. He didn't even ask me to marry him if and only if I promised not to gain an ounce between our engagement and our wedding. He asked me to marry him. Me. Not my body.

See that double chin? It's because I'm too happy to care how I look.
See the difference there? I am the bride. My body is not. I am in a dress. My body just holds the dress up. I say my vows. My body just enables me to give them sound. I marry Drew. My body just carries me down the aisle.

It took me years to realize that there is no such thing as a great body. If there is a great body then there must also be a bad body, and who am I to decide what a bad body is?

My body can dance with abandon. I promise I actually have serious rythm, even though this picture doesn't show it.
I'm a Christian. Therefore I believe that I was divinely designed. I also believe that every single person on this planet was divinely designed. And guess what? None of us are the same. Even identical twins have slight differences that make them unique. Because God didn't create humanity to all be alike. The bible does not say "God saw that Eve was five seven and 110 pounds and it was good." No two Biblical heroines were the same. God did not make good bodies and bad bodies. God made beautiful bodies in His image. Our sinful nature made good and bad bodies. Even if you aren't a Christian, this message is for you: No matter your faith, your body is not bad. It is beautiful. It is good. It allows you to love, laugh, explore, experience joy, grief, hurt, and comfort.

Thank you, body, for letting me experience this moment of joy.
There are healthy and unhealthy bodies. On both ends of the spectrum. I have been very thin and unhealthy. I've also been a little bigger than my normal and been unhealthy. But my body's healthy size and weight isn't what the brides in the magazine say. My body's healthy size is a gorgeous, curvy, 5'4" 140 lbs. I wear a size 8 most days, some days a 6, some days a 10. But I am not a size 6, 8, or 10. I am Kaitlin. I wear a size 6, 8, or 10. I am not 140 pounds. I just weigh 140 pounds. I am not 5'4". I just exist 5'4" above the ground.

There is no such thing as a bridal body. There is only a bride who has a body, no matter its size or shape.

I could tell you that I remember this lesson every day, but I would be lying to you. Some days I could probably write a post this long on how annoying it is to be pear shaped and how I wish I had a "thigh gap" or could get rid of the little bit of extra bulk around my hips and move it to my less than busty upper body. Some days I have to work really hard to remember that I am not defined by the body I live in.

Gym date! We try to be healthy together.
With my wedding just over three weeks away, I've missed the window on a bridal body. But you know what? I don't care. I already have a bridal body. Because I am the bride and I live in a body. I am a soul who was assigned a beautiful life with heartache and joy and grace by a loving and perfect God. He gave me a body He designed and equipped for me to live the life He intended for my soul. Even if you don't share my beliefs: You are still a soul living a life with heartache and beauty and endless possibilities. You have a body that will allow you to do all the things your soul desires.

I am a soul living in a body. I'll take good care of it, but I won't "beat it into bridal shape" or force it to "get skinny quick" like all of my magazines tell me I should. My magazines are wrong. I'm in bridal shape. It's just not the shape that's on the cover. And that is okay.


  1. I love this! I had a friend in college who started dieting a year before she expected to get engaged. Like, she expected her boyfriend to propose by the end of the year and they had talked about it and she was dieting to be thin enough for the engagement photos. Talk about hardcore. Granted, she wanted to lose some of her post-college weight anyway, but still. I'm glad you found my blog, and I found yours!


    1. Thanks Jen!

      I always hear friends make comments about "I'm fat" or "I'm {insert negative adjective here}" and I'm just constantly saying no that's not true. You are not fat. Your body contains fat. But nothing about your body defines who you are. Most of my friends have recently gotten engaged or married and have done the bridal body thing. Someone asked me what I was doing for it yesterday and I was like...nothing. I love seeing other young women stand up against such a diet heavy culture!

      And thanks for reading! I've been following yours for a while but I suckkkk at remembering to comment!


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