Friday, August 8, 2014

things i will never understand


Do you ever have those moments when someone does something, and all you can do is scratch your head and silently  think, "What is wrong with you?"

Well I'm secretly a terrible person and have these moments all the time. I see someone do something I consider idiotic and I just want to bop them upside the head and say, "Get it together, dude!"

Here is a list of five things I don't think I will ever be able to understand.

  1. Getting absurdly excited about being the first to like or comment on an Instagram or Facebook post. It's ridiculous. Do you want a prize? Are you the world's top IG'er or Facebook user? Should I give you a gold star for your achievement? Chillax, man, it's a picture. Come in first in a marathon and I'll clap for you. Come in first and announce it to the world on a social media post and I'll sit here judging you for your weird excitement over this.
  2. Not paying attention to signs starting a mile in advance telling you the road splits and your lane will take you the wrong way. If you wait until the last second and pull in front of me when the sign has been there FOR A WHOLE MILE, I will be furious and wave my hands at you while in my car shouting "What is wrong with you?!" Yes this did happen this morning and I'm still bitter about it. Crazy lady almost killed me. Not really. But she was crazy.
  3. Roller coasters and horror movies. Why do you want to be scared? What is the purpose of this? Who actually enjoys terror? It's the weirdest thing to me. I hate being afraid. As far as I'm concerned, everyone who likes getting tortured with fear is crazy. This includes my husband, for the record. He can only watch scary movies when I'm not home. And when I go to amusement parks with my best friend, I hold the purses while she does the dumb scary rides. Hey Erica! Remember that time we went to Universal and you thought I was crazy? Yeah, you're the crazy one in this friendship. Hate to break it to you.
  4. Not drinking coffee. What kind of life do you have if you don't drink coffee? Do you enjoy your misery in lacking something so wonderful in your life? If you don't drink coffee, I will never fully trust you. Fact. There is something very wrong with not liking at least a frappuccino.
  5. Being a picky eater. Food is amazing. Why would you want to limit yourself? I can understand being a little freaked by organ meats. Some of those do scare me a tad. But otherwise, being picky is so foreign to me. Give me all the food. If you aren't going to eat it, I'll take it off your plate. Because you're crazy not to eat it. And I'm perfectly sane and will eat all of your aversions.
    *secret...I'm not actually that sane. But really, who is? All the fun people are a little crazy.
There you go. Things I just can't understand and find absolutely ridiculous. Also known as Why Kaitlin is Actually a Really Terrible Person. 

What do people do that you just can't understand to save your life? Tell me so I feel validated.
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24 comments:

  1. I laughed out loud upon reading these after that most perfect gif

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    1. Blair Waldorf is the QUEEN of "what is wrong with you, you idiot?"

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  2. #2 EVERY STINKING DAY! hahahah.
    and I like roller coasters but HATE horror films (but my favorite holiday is Halloween) how is that for a weird mash up? :)

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    1. Yes, you are weird. But in a good way. Except the roller coasters thing. That's just nuts. I still like you though.

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  3. I had no idea you were such a terrible person. Kidding!!! I agree with all of these except roller coasters- that is a fun kind of scary to me. All I think when people are excited about being the first to comment is that they have no life.

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    1. It's ok, I really am awful. Thank God for Jesus cause I need some forgiveness for real. And YES. What is so boring about your life that being the "first like" is the highlight of whatever it is you're looking at? I don't get it.

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  4. those first 2 = spot on!!!! i always kinda roll my eyes when i see "first comment" & ESPECIALLY when that is the only thing the comment says!!

    i love rollercoasters, but hate horror movies too! & i definitely don't understand people who don't like coffee! but to each his own!

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    1. I will be your purse holder if we ever go to six flags while I secretly judge you for being crazy and riding those death traps.

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  5. Not drinking coffee is so confusing to me. Why miss out on one of the greatest pleasures in life?!

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    1. For real! It's so sad when people say they don't like coffee. I just kind of look at them and don't know what to say.

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  6. I love this so much!! Hahaha I needed a good laugh this afternoon! But really though, why do people say "first like" ?! WHO cares? People are weird.

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    1. FIRST REPLY!

      See what I did there? It seriously makes no sense to me. Why on earth are you so excited that no one else liked this picture before you? Yes, this person gets lots of likes, yes, maybe they're a celebrity. YOU'RE STILL RIDICULOUS.

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  7. #2! So true! I was on the freeway one day when all lanes were being funneled into a single lane but that didn't stop a bunch of drivers from speeding ahead in the median until even that got blocked out. It was making traffic SO bad until a bunch of cars all pulled themselves over to drive straddling the lane we were supposed to be in and the median. It stopped all of those annoying speedsters in their tracks and traffic flowed so much smoother. Those people made my day!

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    1. Going into downtown Columbia I-126 splits off to go into the 2 parts of downtown and the signs that say which lanes go where start literally a mile ahead of time. It's a four lane highway. There is NO reason to miss all of the signals saying this road splits and NO reason to almost kill people trying to recover from your panic of realizing you're going the wrong way!!

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  8. I judge picky eaters and people that don't drink coffee too....

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    1. They're such weirdos. I mean, I'm weird too, but at least I know the joy of hot caffeinated drinks and all types of food.

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  9. Bahahahahaha!!!! I didn't know that people did number 1, but cutting people off because they weren't following the signs and not drinking coffee are a huge mystery to me. I love roller coasters (sad day, though, since my neck hates them), and I like thrillers/scary movies from the 90's. What they call horror movies now are just gory porn films.

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    1. Yes. If you follow any celebrity of any kind there will always be someone who comments "FIRST LIKE!!" as if they just discovered North America. I don't do any kind of scary at all!

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  10. I got a laugh out of this and can relate to all of them! :)
    Sometimes with situations like that...it's best not to get annoyed, but to just see the humor and blog about it later! :)

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    1. Haha glad you got a laugh out of it! I had fun writing this too! People are so weird.

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  11. This is funny, but to some people roller coasters aren't scary at all, they are just fun! :) so we think you are just as crazy, why would you want to miss out on all of the fun!

    oursweetthingcalledlife.blogspot.com

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    1. Maybe my adrenaline is broken so I don't enjoy such fun! Either way, when I see those things all I see are death traps waiting to claim another victim and I refuse to be the next one!

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  12. I agree with allllllllllllllll of these except the roller coaster thing. I love them and it's not because they make me scared. I find them exciting and I love the adrenaline rush! No fear. I've got nothing but love for them.

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    1. I just can't understand how adrenaline rushes work...to me it feels the same as fear. So I just look at coasters and the people who ride them and think...something is wrong with this. My brother loves them, my husband loves them, and my best friend loves them. I think they're all nuts!

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