letter to my future self

Photo by Annabeth Kierspe, AB Photography

To us, at 30ish, We've had some good times over the years, haven't we? Traveled, learned, grown, loved...all kinds of fun. Sometimes I wonder what you're like. Does someone call you Mommy yet? Is it a boy or girl? Did you adopt or did you watch you belly grow for nine months? I know we've dreamed of both equally. I wonder which brought us our first? Blonde hair and blue eyed like us? Dark hair and dark eyes like our husband? Or something completely unexpected? I wonder where you're living. Closer to family? By a beach? On a mountain? Is it that white cottage we've always wanted or something completely different? I know us pretty well, despite not knowing where you are now. But I know we both wonder a lot. And I hope when you're reading this, it's not on a day when you're looking back wondering where the time went. I hope you're reading this on a day when we just had so much fun with our little family, whoever it now includes, that you are looking back and appreciating all the fun we had over time. I hope you're looking back smiling at the clueless newlywed we are right now, saying "I had no idea what wonderful things were on the way." But, if you're reading this on a day where nothing has gone right, when you're so tired you want to cry, and wishing you could come back to this moment right now and change things, I have something to say to you. Stop wishing for different. Remember how you dreamed about that baby who might be crying nonstop from colic right now and driving you crazy? Remember how you felt saying I do to that man who just made you so impossibly angry you can't even see straight? Right now, you've got it made. You're married to a man who loves you so much. Maybe right now you don't see it. But I promise. He's loved you since you were seventeen and didn't even know it. And if you're a mommy and it's really hard, much harder than expected, remember, you prayed for that hard for so long. You're doing great. Stop being so worried about doing it just right. You'll make mistakes. But it will be alright. Those mistakes parents make are what therapists are for later in life. No worries. Right now, you might think we had it so much better when we were 23 and newly married. You might look back and say "Those were the days." And they were. But so are the ones you're living right now. There is beauty in every stage, sweetheart. Remember that. Remember the beauty of our years gone by, but don't forget the beauty of right now. Where you are today? It's exactly where you're meant to be. It has it's own difficulties, and it isn't perfect, but it is lovely. Live where you are now. Dream about tomorrow, but please don't dream about yesterday. Look back on it with love, not longing. Where you are now, be in it. Find contentment in the little moments. Look for a flower blooming on a rainy day. Go for a hike. Go see a movie by yourself.  And if you're having the most wonderful day when you're reading this, cherish it and commit it to memory. But if tomorrow is a bad day, don't look at the day before with longing. Do the hard stuff, but look for the good. I'm so excited to be you one day. But I'm enjoying our day right now, so that you'll have more memories to love. Love, Us. What do you have to say to your future self?