Thursday, January 17, 2013

A grievously owed apology.

Hi dear readers! It's Kaitlin. Remember me?

I am so, SO sorry it's been such a long time since my last post. You see, the final semester of college beginning...well, it wasn't as smooth, simple, or stress free as I had planned. I have many major life changes on the way, and many decisions to make, which requires much more thought and energy than I expected.

I'm a big planner. There are lists for everything major in my life. Pro/con lists decided which college I would attend, which major I would choose, then which I would switch to. I believe tucked somewhere in a scrapbook or memory box there's even a list I made at age 15 to determine the type of guy I would date/marry. To future beaus: I am terribly sorry for the awkwardness that will come when my family shows you that list and laughs comparing my youthful ideals with the reality of you. I read a lot, so you've got some pretty intense competition with all those literary masculine heroes I designed the list after.

I have always just said, "That's what I'm going to do," and then buried myself in working to make whatever "that" was happen. I'm doing the same thing now...planning, list making, deciding things. It's a process and it's taking much of my brain.

However, I've also been spending time with people I love, trying to enjoy my relationships. I have these amazing friends who are so supportive of me and accept me exactly as I am, quirks and all. When you first meet me, I tend to be very shy. It's not that I'm rude or don't like you; I'm just taking time to get a feel for who you are as a person. Once you have become a close friend, however, you'll find that I'm actually very vivacious, albeit a little odd. I will go from reading a medical journal on the vagus nerve because something about it spiked my interest to watching Tangled with my closest friends singing along with every number. No lie--that's basically what my night looked like tonight.

On May 4th, my years as a college student will be over, and I'll be moving into a new phase of life. It didn't happen according to plan; lots of small details have changed along the way. However, I believe it's happened exactly as it was meant to.

The point of all of this information is this: I am sorry I haven't been posting, truly. I loved creating Sew My Soul, and I want to keep it up for sure. I'm not sorry, though, for the reasons behind the lost post time. I used to think that being efficient and doing everything and growing up to be Wonder Woman was what life was all about, but the past year has taught me this: Wonder Woman was probably really lonely and didn't have much freedom to be true to herself. I'm taking off my cape and terribly uncomfortable bodysuit, and exchanging it for a pretty pink pencil skirt and grey ballet flats.

I'll keep being a blogger, a student (for 106 more days, at least) and a worker, but for the most part I'm going to be me. I think that's going to make me much better at all the rest.

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