if i had my dream kitchen, this is what would be in it

Be still my heart. {img source}

Most weekends find me hovered around the stove thinking up something new to bake or make for my man, my friends, or myself, because I like food and I'm not ashamed to say so. Cooking is a release for me, a creative process with a heartwarming result. Let me carefully fold egg yolks into butter for a dreamy sauce for fish and asparagus. Give me spices to combine and season pastas and soups. I long for dough to knead, let rise, knead again, all for a perfect ciabatta loaf to eat with everything..
The first room that got attention when I moved out on my own: my kitchen. The first room to get settled when we moved into our house: our kitchen. My kitchen is the heart of my home, and it's where I go to create things that show the people I love how much I care. Food is the deepest expression of love for me, making it, sharing it, conversing over it. My favorite moments are around the table, eating, with people I cherish.

Oh, the things I would make here.{img source}

So, when PartSelect reached out to me about their blogger contest for a custom KitchenAid mixer and asked what five appliances I would have in my dream kitchen, I spent hours dreaming and designing, and finally determined exactly what my dream would look like in reality..
First of all, my dream home would have two kitchens. One for every day cooking, and one just for baking and honing my craft of cooking. Extravagant? Maybe, but I don't care, this is my dream and if it's lavish, so be it. That's what dreams are for.

To be baking in here, with friends standing by the island with wine and laughter...{img source}

I would give the most attention to the honing/baking kitchen. I dream about a French country-style kitchen gracing the layout of my home someday. It would have the most beautiful ivory antique finished cabinets with silver hardware, a white cast-iron extra deep two-sided sink, subway tile backsplash, an island with a butcher block counter top...and the appliances...

1. Stainless steel double ovens. Big ones. They would be well loved, used all the time for a million baked goods and experiments, some failed and some wildly successful.
2. An industrial sized stand mixer because I think if you have two kitchens you should have a really big mixer so you can make lots of things to share with lots of people.
3. A separate gas range, built into the island, conveniently placed directly in front of the sink on one side and the ovens on the other. Easily accessed from either side so that I don't have to pause everything to reach something else I need.
4. A stainless steel dishwasher capable of holding every dish I own because I hate washing dishes.
5. Very large refrigerator and freezer. Perfect for making things ahead, storing some favorite creations to pop out on short notice, and keeping all my ingredients well stocked so I can bake on a whim without having to go to the store to get things. 

This dream baking kitchen would be so customized I would never want to leave. Everyone who knew me would be so thrilled I had the kitchen because it meant lots and lots of wonderful food for them all the time.
After all, the best part of baking and cooking is sharing the fruits of your labor with those you love. There's not much more loving than showing up at a neighbor's house with chocolate mascarpone cake just to say I was thinking of you.
What would your dream kitchen contain?

skinny is a swear word

Want to know a secret? A little trick, one that helped me break {mostly} free of skinny thinking?
I live in a world without scales.

There is no scale under my bathroom sink. I don't go to a personal trainer at the gym because weigh ins suck. I turn around backwards at the doctor's office and ask them not to tell me my weight unless they think I'm unhealthy.

I have no idea what I weigh.

Some would argue having an awareness of your size is important to know how healthy you are. I say, I have awareness! If I go to the store and need a size 4 in that cute skirt over there, I need to go eat a freakin' cheeseburger and extra fries because size 4 is too small for my body. If I have to go put on a size 10, it's time to stop getting take-out so much and go back to yoga.

But I don't know how much I weigh. Because for me, knowing is unhealthy. Knowing gets me thinking. What if I could drop just ten pounds? Yes, ten sounds easy. Oh, I dropped that ten, let's just go for five more. Well hey, that came off quick, how about another five just for good measure?

I do not want to live in a prison made of scales. So I live in a wilderness where scales are unheard of. Because skinny doesn't matter. Skinny isn't healthy. Skinny SUCKS. If you see me on the street, please do not tell me I look skinny. Do not tell me I'm so thin. Do not tell me you wish you were my size.

And I will never tell you that you look skinny, even if you are. Because I don't give a damn about skinny. Skinny is the F-word of my life. As is fat. Size is not a valid compliment or insult.

Tell me you LOVE that color on me. Tell me my dress is really flattering. Tell me I have such great blue eyes. Tell me you love my smile. Tell me my laugh is contagious. Tell me you love how genuine I am.

Tell me ANYTHING besides "you look skinny." Tell me I look healthy--healthy is good, healthy IS a compliment. Healthy ROCKS. But skinny isn't healthy.

Want to know a secret? Something that will help you live in a freer, happier world?

You were made ON purpose, FOR a purpose. And that purpose won't be found in a dress size or a number on a scale. It's found in your passions, your friendships, your marriage, your family. It's found in your community, in the things you sacrifice yourself for.

It's found in Christ. He made you. He loves you. And you know what? He doesn't give a damn about skinny either. He wants your heart and soul. That's it.

Over the next seven days, I challenge you not to use a single adjective about size or weight when describing yourself or others. I challenge you to avoid the scale entirely. I challenge you to think beyond the numbers and see the true person in the mirror.

What is your secret to healthy, happy living? How can I encourage you to think happy, not skinny?

This post was inspired by two recent conversations, one with my mentor and one with a new friend. Thanks to both.

pruning

I love plants. Flowers, trees, grasses, weeds...they are all lovely to me. I love the way they spring to life from tiny little seeds. I love the way they transform as they grow. I also love to watch them flourish after pruning.

I have a lovely plant that is brilliant for ground cover; it grows and spreads so quickly and when used in a container has a gorgeous quality of spilling over the sides when it runs out of ground to cover. I bought two of them, but for some reason only put one in its container. Its brother plant was a little neglected, and after two weeks in the hot Columbia sun, it appeared to be dead.

But...there's always a but in a post like this, isn't there?...but. It wasn't dead at all. There was still life in that little neglected container, being held back by a thick layer of unhealthy remains. So instead of throwing that little plant away, not looking for the small signs of life that might still be there, I started to pull the layers of death away. There was a lot of it, and I wondered the whole time if it was going to be worth it. If I should've just let it be and not bothered to remove what was holding this plant back.

Then I got to the underside of the unhealthy, choking remains. And I saw what I was looking for. New life. Ready to thrive, and grow, and spread into something beautiful. I saw the hope of a future for this little plant. And I began to think how life is a lot like that.

Sometimes, you see, there are things in our life that are deeply unhealthy, that are keeping the freshness in us from coming out. Sometimes, there are friendships that need to be trimmed away. Sometimes it's old habits that are like a layer of death keeping us from the light ahead. Sometimes it's our own negativity keeping us from seeing the sun.

So we prune. We separate the unhealthy from what is ready to bloom. We take away what is hopeless to make room for newness. We say goodbye to friendships despite the pain it comes with, we make new habits that help us in order to drop those that hinder us. We actively seek out joy in our lives to make the pain easier to live with, and keep it from stopping our ability to grow. We prune.

It's not easy. Sometimes it seems pointless. Sometimes you hardly remember why you started this process, and question everything. And then you break through to the other side and beauty is waiting for you. The layers of unhealthy weeds have been pulled away, and new sprouts greet you. And you remember why you started. Because this moment, this peace and loveliness, this is what you knew you would find. This part of life was just ahead.

Aren't you glad you didn't stop pruning?

let love grow: wedding

Do you love looking at wedding pictures as much as I do?

Good, because I'm sharing them today. It was a perfect way to start the year. January 4, 2014 at 5:30 pm I wedded my high school sweetheart surrounded by only close family and friends.

Most of the wedding was DIY--all printed materials made by me, centerpieces by mom and I, and all other decorations made by me or family. My dad made the pergola we were married under. It was the most perfect thing ever.

We had no guests under 18 but I made an exception for this lovely girl. She's growing into a beautiful young lady.

V is amazing. She's my mentor and friend, and was our day-of coordinator and made the wedding go so smoothly.

Love our California "framily" who has been around since I was teeny.

More framily. Plus mom. The best picture.

My best friend and her man are seriously the most gorgeous couple.

The flu should never stop you from gettin' low on your wedding day.

Aunt and brother entertained the whole crowd with an astonishingly good Gangnam Style performance.

Love my high school girls (minus 2)

This was such a fun and scary exit. I love it.

That's a hot husband there.

I gave up on captions after a little while...sorry. It was the most perfect day. If you want to know more about this venue in Anderson, SC, email Sydney at the Anderson Arts Center. I can't recommend it enough. I worked there for three wonderful years and it is truly the most gorgeous gallery. If you are in South Carolina and like this photographer, check out Van Sullivan Jr. Photography. He and his wife did a wonderful job capturing our day. For the best florist in the upstate, call Amy at Electric City Blooms.

*none of the vendors have asked me to feature them or link to their businesses. All recommendations and opinions are solely mine. I only recommend products or businesses I truly believe in.