Thursday, June 26, 2014

outside my comfort zone isn't that uncomfortable, after all

Friends. What a beautiful word it is to say out loud...friend. It flows, fitting comfortably between the tongue and teeth, gently coming forth, reminiscent of the warmth and love you feel when you're with friends.

I recently told you that I'm struggling to find community, that I don't quite feel like I fit in yet. And that's still true. But I've taken a few little steps. Little, that is, for the average Jane, or the extrovert by nature. Big steps, though, if you happen to be me.

Saturday, I went to meet my blog friend, Sarah, for the very first time in real life. And I have to tell you--had I done this a year and a half ago, I would've cancelled the day of, if not the day before, and had an extensive, full body, heart frozen in place, can't escape it panic attack. I never thought of myself as being very personable, you see, or particularly likeable. I always felt odd, like I couldn't relate to others, and it led me to being stuck in isolation mode for a very long time, only making surface level connections.

But Saturday....sweet, sweet Saturday. I didn't panic. I had butterflies in my tummy, not unlike the ones that usually accompany a first date, but I didn't have fear. I wasn't stuck. And I didn't want to cancel at any point. And it was a lovely day. With surface talk mixed in with real talk, laughter mixed with sharing real heartaches. And I felt so very myself. I must say, I'm very proud of me for this. Meeting new people isn't on my list of fun things to do, but I did it. And I so enjoyed it.

And tonight, we had another couple over for dinner. They live on our street, and us girls like to walk our dogs together. I just got my copy of Bread and Wine in the mail yesterday, and I've already devoured half of the book, and just really strongly felt that desire to have people at my table, sharing food and stories and laughter. And that's what we did. And I feel a little stronger still.

Each baby step, which to me feel like very large steps, draws me out more and more. I don't want to say out of my shell, per se, but out of my comfort zone. What I'm learning, though, is that those things that are just outside my comfort zone, aren't all that uncomfortable at all. It's a little like a brand new has to be broken in for a few weeks, and in a month or so, you don't remember what the old couch felt like to sit in, because this one now feels right beneath you.

Friends. Making them, learning to be a better one, enjoying those we already have. That's what life is about. That is where hearts rejoice. We come together, we share, and we leave a little fuller than we arrived.

How are you breaking out of your comfort zone these days, friend?
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  1. Sadly I'm not. If I wasn't in the situation i'm in right now I'd do more things and meet more blog friends and see if we hit it off.

  2. It was so much fun! I can't wait to hang out again!

  3. I can recommend a great church, where we had AMAZING community if you need one!

  4. <3 this!! Yay for meeting fellow bloggers! And I love that you had a couple over for dinner, and that you got Bread & Wine, it seems like that book is really changing a lot of ladies in the blogging community!

  5. such a neat story! :) i can completely relate to this! i feel like our stories are quite similar! i am SO awkward with small talk & hated meeting new people. but even though it's awkward at first - i am learning to enjoy it!

  6. Aww, your blate sounds amazing! Even though I know I'll panic over one myself, I'm totally dying to meet other bloggers. That Bread & Wine book looks awesome - I've actually never heard of it before!


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