Monday, February 16, 2015

hello again. let's have a coffee date

Well hi there. It's been a long time. Well over a month, actually. I've missed this place, but being gone for a while has been necessary. This season has been the busiest of our life as the Beckwiths thus far, and I needed simplicity while in the throes of it. Something had to be taken off my plate, so I quietly let blogging and writing fall away for a time.
It's almost over though. We can see the light at the end of the tunnel. And soon I'll be able to tell you exactly what has kept us so busy. Not today though. Today I'll have to leave out that part of life lately. Today, let's just catch up on where our hearts are.
I was afraid of this busy-ness. I was really quite anxious all the stress would lead to disconnect in our marriage, that it would hurt us, that we would have a really, really hard time. But we really have found a whole new level of connection. Of supporting each other. Of making decisions together and taking risks together. We've grown stronger and closer instead of further apart. And if we were on a real coffee date, I would probably shed a few tears over how much I truly love that man I married over a year ago now, and how grateful I am for him to be my partner in life.
This season has made me so thankful for friendships and more frequent chances to see my closest friends. For a long time I really didn't socialize much at all, and although I'm introverted, it was still hard. And now I'm getting to see my people more. My tribe more. And I'm so thankful that I have those people in my life and that the friendships and love didn't fade over time.
I would probably tell you what the source of the busy has been, but swear you to secrecy until further notice. But don't worry, the secret won't be a secret much longer. And I would tell you how great it feels to finally be seeing the calender clear, the dust settle, and the end of the crazy time is so close I can actually pinpoint when it will finally be here, as opposed to the uncertainty of the last few weeks.
Faith and spirituality would probably come up, and I would be really honest and tell you I haven't been feeling it much lately. It's been a dry spell. I'm unmotivated to dive into it, I'm not sure how this happened or when or why, but I've hit a point of just feeling...uninterested. And I would ask you if you've hit this point before, and if you got over it, and how you did.
I would also tell you I've decided to take the next few years to get into the best shape I can. I would tell you I'm really afraid of this. I would tell you fitness has never been something I've been good at. I always thought I just couldn't be one of those people. But I've decided to cultivate these habits now so that when we are ready to expand our family I'll be the healthiest I can be, and I'll be able to teach my children the value of their bodies and their health. And I would ask you to help me out, to keep me accountable, and to remind me of these goals.
So what would you tell me if we sat down to catch up over coffee? And do you have any advice for me?
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  1. I totally understand how you are feeling with the dry spell in regards to faith. I've been feeling that way a lot lately too. I try to push myself to go to church and listen to worship music even when I don't want to because that's when I need it the most.

  2. Yayyyyyyyyyyyy. Missed seeing your face on my feed. However, if we had coffee, it would be for me to cry and you to advise me. We just do it over text instead of coffee? Maybe we should plan to drink coffee at the same time while we text/google hangout.


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