Wednesday, January 7, 2015

love week: why being a newlywed isn't the best season of marriage

Hi, friend! As you're reading this, my man and I are sailing the seven seas (okay, just one sea) celebrating our first wedding anniversary. In celebration, I wanted to have a few of my favorite ladies write about love and marriage while I'm away! Without further ado, here is my lovely friend, Madison, from The Wetherills Say I Do!
Hi friends! I am so excited to be here sharing with you while Kaitlin is away. She is a dear friend of mine so I was happy to fill in! My name is Madison and I blog over at The Wetherills Say I Do. I've been married to my sweet husband for 2.5 years now and I'm excited to share a little about our marriage with you today!

There was a small part of me that cringed last July when we passed right over our two year anniversary. I cringe a lot when it comes to time because it constantly blows my mind how fast it goes by. But as we crossed over into our third year, I was a little sad. Now that we are on our third year of marriage, there's no book that would refer to us as newlyweds. The newlywed phase is highly revered by people in all seasons, so it's no surprise that it feels a little weird to move out of that phase and into another that is rarely raved about.

Now that I'm six months past my exit from the newlywed phase, I can see that I love this phase possibly even more than the last. The newlywed phase is scary and exhilarating, and in a lot of ways it's like an extension of dating. There's lots of unknowns, trials and errors, and tons of fun.

What I love about being outside of the "newlywed phase" is simple: we are settled. We know each other better than we ever have. We are in a routine. It's not boring by any means, but there isn't a lot of that painful guessing anymore. Sure, my husband still surprises me every once in a while- not with gifts necessarily, but also in the way he acts or things that he says. When you're a newlywed, sometimes it's expected that your husband brings home flowers or that you spend all of your Saturday in bed, but it's almost like people don't expect any of those little things when you're out of that first year or two of marriage. And that makes it even more special to me.

I don't expect flowers to magically appear, so when I walk in from work and see a bouquet and my favorite candy sitting on the table, it gives me those new relationship kind of butterflies again. I don't expect breakfast in bed, so when my husband whips up French Toast and coffee on a Saturday morning, it definitely takes me by surprise.

I love knowing who we are, now that we are in our third year or marriage and fifth year together. I love knowing our routines and having a different set of expectations for our relationship than I did when we were newlyweds.

If you're a newlywed, you've been married for a few years or ten, know that God has something so exciting for you and your spouse in this current season of marriage. Don't be sad that you're no longer newlyweds, instead celebrate your accomplishments of having a successful marriage for however long you've been together. Celebrate the fact that you get to make each other feel like you're just getting to know each other again by surprising each other with a gift or dinner reservations. Celebrate the little things, just like you did when you were a newlywed.

Being a newlywed isn't the best season of marriage because every season of marriage is special and should be as highly revered as the newlywed phase.

How have you learned to savor your current season of marriage?
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  1. I'm with you Madison. Being a newlywed is HARD and I look forward to the time where there is less trial and error and we get into a routine that we know works well for the both of us!

  2. I love this post Madison and I think it's so true!! I loved our lives when we were newlyweds and we were so happy, but every year I think life can't get any better than this!

  3. Yes! Our first year as newlyweds was hard!! I'm really excited to be in this new "settled down" stage of marriage...and every stage after!!


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