I'm joining up with Rachel and Madison today for Community Brew once again with a topic I've never addressed before.
This post might not sit well with some. It might make some uncomfortable. Maybe even rub some the wrong way.
The harsh truth: I don't care. Sometimes the things that make you uncomfortable are the things you need to hear most.
So here goes nothing.
How many times have you heard someone say "Women can have it all" in a motivational sense? How many times have you heard it used as a sort of feminist anthem?
Don't get me wrong. I'm absolutely a feminist. Jesus was too, by the way. Read the new testament and see just how deeply he valued them, on the same level he did men. But feminism to me means humanism. It means putting all of us on equal ground. Just like Jesus did during his life and through his sacrifice on the cross.
So what does this have to do with "having it all?"
Tons.
Having it all sounds exhausting. It involves saying yes to every opportunity. Pursuing every chance for success in every area of life. It involves striving to give the best of you to everything and always pursuing more because you're supposed to have it all, but if you haven't done this yet then you don't have it all even though you've already got this, this, this, this, and oh yeah, this too.
The pursuit of a life in which you have it all will ultimately lead to two things: having not enough left to give of yourself, and exhaustion from constant striving and never allowing yourself a chance to be content.
I want to encourage a different perspective on what it means to have it all. What if you woke up this morning, and instead of thinking about what you need to do in order to finally have it all, thought to yourself, my life is really beautiful, and I already have it all?
What if instead of focusing on striving for more, more, more to prove you can have it all, you focused on being thankful for all you already have?
The thing is, I don't have everything I want yet. I'm not living in the city I want to live in yet, although we have the chance to change that in about five or six months, I don't have the kids I dream about raising yet, and I'm not a homeowner of my white farmhouse with dark green shutters and a dark wooden door with windows everywhere.
When I look at what I don't have yet, it's easy to get discouraged and think I'm somehow not doing enough because I can't have it all yet. Feeling like you're not enough or aren't able to do enough isn't fun. It hurts. And it leads to so much pressure, stress, and exhaustion. Who wants to live in the constant feeling of never having enough?
Not me. Having it all doesn't mean I have to have all I've ever dreamed of at one time. Having it all is already happening to me. And it's happening to you too.
I have the most precious gift: the love and acceptance of a warm and beautiful Savior. Whether or not you believe it or want it, it's there, and it's there for each and every person on Earth. That's the thing about being loved. You aren't in charge of whether or not someone else loves you. They decide. And He's already decided.
I'm a feminist. And I don't have it all by feminist or worldly standards. But I have it all anyway.
I live a beautiful life. I wake up with someone I love and am loved by every day. Two furry wild pups run around making messes in my home and snuggle with me each night. I have a job I love that allows me to spend time in my home. I have friends and family I can call on when I need them.
I'm not wealthy. I might never be wealthy. I'm not a mom. I'm not a homeowner. I'm not travelling the world. I'm not a size four. I'm not a homeowner. I'm not a scholar with a doctorate or any plans to get one right now. I'm not...I'm not...I'm not. The list can go on.
But I'm alive, I'm loved, and in those two simple facts, I have it all anyway. So from now on I'm done thinking I have to pursue more to have it all. I'm done wondering when I'm going to get there. I'm done thinking I'm not feminist enough because I don't have it all or I'm not doing enough because I don't have it all. I'm done focusing on what I don't have and who I'm not.
I know who I am, and I have it all in spite of the million things I don't have. And you do too. I invite you to join me in this new way of thinking of having it all.
