things i will never understand
Do you ever have those moments when someone does something, and all you can do is scratch your head and silently think, "What is wrong with you?"
Well I'm secretly a terrible person and have these moments all the time. I see someone do something I consider idiotic and I just want to bop them upside the head and say, "Get it together, dude!"
Here is a list of five things I don't think I will ever be able to understand.
- Getting absurdly excited about being the first to like or comment on an Instagram or Facebook post. It's ridiculous. Do you want a prize? Are you the world's top IG'er or Facebook user? Should I give you a gold star for your achievement? Chillax, man, it's a picture. Come in first in a marathon and I'll clap for you. Come in first and announce it to the world on a social media post and I'll sit here judging you for your weird excitement over this.
- Not paying attention to signs starting a mile in advance telling you the road splits and your lane will take you the wrong way. If you wait until the last second and pull in front of me when the sign has been there FOR A WHOLE MILE, I will be furious and wave my hands at you while in my car shouting "What is wrong with you?!" Yes this did happen this morning and I'm still bitter about it. Crazy lady almost killed me. Not really. But she was crazy.
- Roller coasters and horror movies. Why do you want to be scared? What is the purpose of this? Who actually enjoys terror? It's the weirdest thing to me. I hate being afraid. As far as I'm concerned, everyone who likes getting tortured with fear is crazy. This includes my husband, for the record. He can only watch scary movies when I'm not home. And when I go to amusement parks with my best friend, I hold the purses while she does the dumb scary rides. Hey Erica! Remember that time we went to Universal and you thought I was crazy? Yeah, you're the crazy one in this friendship. Hate to break it to you.
- Not drinking coffee. What kind of life do you have if you don't drink coffee? Do you enjoy your misery in lacking something so wonderful in your life? If you don't drink coffee, I will never fully trust you. Fact. There is something very wrong with not liking at least a frappuccino.
- Being a picky eater. Food is amazing. Why would you want to limit yourself? I can understand being a little freaked by organ meats. Some of those do scare me a tad. But otherwise, being picky is so foreign to me. Give me all the food. If you aren't going to eat it, I'll take it off your plate. Because you're crazy not to eat it. And I'm perfectly sane and will eat all of your aversions.
*secret...I'm not actually that sane. But really, who is? All the fun people are a little crazy.
There you go. Things I just can't understand and find absolutely ridiculous. Also known as Why Kaitlin is Actually a Really Terrible Person.
What do people do that you just can't understand to save your life? Tell me so I feel validated.
